No Time and Pointing my finger at you...

 Current life, I am pointing this BIG ENORMOUS FINGER AT YOU....

WHY do you not let me relax..

Why do you not allow free time to happen..

WHY do you not allow me to leave work at 4:30pm...

WHY do you allow me to have more and more complications with Diabetes..

Why do you think it is okay for me to have to suffer

when I could easily still be that 21 year old girl I was before

YOU decided to change EVERYTHING in my life...

WHY WHY WHY..

Not only and I super tired, exhausted from working, and sad that it's only the 2nd day in 

the work week, 

but I already hate having T1, 

it consumes my life,

and everyone I have in it, 

but not you remind me 

every

single

day

almost 

every 

single

hour...

the discomfort, pain, tingling feelings i get in my hands, mostly my right

from Tendinitis I now have

is a constant reminder of how much

you 

SUCK. 

Sorry, I said it. I'm sure i could find other words, but 

you do. 

One day, I want a doctor to tell me, 

You no longer have diabetes...

 

 

 

can that day be tomorrow, and take my tendinitis with you...

PLEASE..

I'll bake you a cake!!!

Blizzard of 2011 in Iowa!!

At our house, it was recorded that we got 

17.5 inches. 

HA, yeah, maybe with out drifts. 

We went to bed hearing all the wind and taking family trips to our

enclosed front porch to keep looking at how

much snow we were getting and the 

crazies brave people driving in it. 

We woke before 8am and got dressed to take Kahuna out and this

is her all ready to go out (not really, we just did it and she kinda liked the scarf!!)

Then we all saw this..

::gasp::

well before going out, I got my snow shoes on

so that I can take Kahuna out without falling deep in it.. lol

 

This was our cars in our driveway with drifts past my car

over Austin's car

 

Our street from our front porch. Some silly people's tracks, but not many. 

 

This is after we shoveled the bottom of our driveway.

Look at that snow...

This is the up view of our cars from where we shoveled for 

Austin's dad who was coming over to help snow blow.

THANK GOODNESS FOR HIM.

This small amount took us 2 hours to shovel. 

 

The back yard where the 4 houses meet up. With 

drifts over 2feet tall. Marks in snow are mine and Kahunas!!! 

She didn't seem to really care too much for how much snow. 

She had to bunny jump over it all

 

Our little deck and the steps where Kahuna normally gets taken out at. You can see the 10 feet of snow pushed and piled at the end of our driveway. 

(10 feet of driveway filled not 10 feet high of snow.)

The side of the front of our house with our neighbors drive and 

you can really see the snow height here.

From the inside:

 

10 inch paintbrush and the drifts up to my kitchen window...

 

Our back door with compared to the about 3feet stick. 

Our backyard with drifts at least 2feet of snow.

How are all of you doing in this snow? Did you loose power?

Hopefully you are all staying warm and having fun

staying at home. 

They haven't declared anything for tomorrow

with these low temps coming in and all this snow

hopefully tomorrow isn't too bad. 

I might have to work, which means

I will have to drive clients around in this weather. 

AWESOME. 

Let's just hope we can get them all out safely. 

Trying to Explain...

I took a client of mine to the doctor. 

While at the doctor we discussed some serious

problems and feelings my client was having. 

This client happens to be diabetic. 

While in there, seeing it ( i'm using "it" because 

I obviously can't say anything else

but he/she is too tempting

so "it" it is. ) feel pain and the thought of going through medical

issues alone, as well as other complicating issues

with it's health, I felt 

so helpless. 

I supported it, I rubbed it's hand, 

I provided encouraging words. 

Then we got into the car. All of a sudden 

we were talking and there it burst. 

I told it how mad I was that when I was diagnosed 

I felt like I had no one 

to compare my life to. 

The life I had known, was different, 

those years in high school, middle school and 

elementary school

was all a blur. 

I remember having flashbacks of memories
I had as a kid and the thought that

i might have not had those has this

annoying member of my body 

(diabetes)

never entered it. 

I was able to provide my client

with being that person that remembers people asking

"You're diabetic, can you eat that?"

or

"but does it have sugar in it"

I remember feeling like I had no rights, 

I was given up to this disease

that there is no cure for, 

and I 

among all of these

other "normal" people and college students

was no longer normal. 

I told my client how I felt, 

how yes, the thought that I now am at a higher risk of complications 

like loosing my legs/feet

going blind

heart disease

organ damage

kidney failure

stroke

heart attack..

just to name a few of my later in life 

relatives, 

we were able to relate. 

and then it said the one thing I wasn't expecting to here

"you know Cass, if i wouldn't have met you when I did, 

i might have died drinking my 

regular Mountain Dew"

and THAT made my day. 

Sometimes you don't have to explain how you feel, 

someone, despite any other factors

GETS YOU. 

AMEN to that!!!

DATE NIGHT!!

Thanks to my BEAUTIFUL sister

and her family

we were able to treat ourselves to dinner!!

We cleaned the house,

put up drapes, lots of drapes

hung stuff on the wall 

(FINALLY)

and the Christmas tree is now put away for next year. 

So sad it took this long for us to

find time to put it away. 

Here's us before date night!!!

(I need to figure out a way to make these unblurry once

i get them on here. so sorry :( )

YUMMY It was!

Look for new updated pics of our 

1st home!!

Well the rooms that are finished! and clean ;)

Baking Day!!

This all this fuss this week with my diabetes

and the struggles it bring to my

day, every day

I really wanted to bake. 

I know it should sound completely not normal for a diabetic

to enjoy baking since

99.9%

of things you bake are full of sugar, but I 

LOVE

It. 

Normally, as you see I bake cakes. Just so happens

I don't actually enjoy eating cake all that often

unless it is carrot cake. then YUM!!

But I read the blog sixuntilme.com

everyday now. 

I LOVE HER! She really helps us diabetes feel like we aren't alone. 

And we're human. 

If you have diabetes, love someone who has diabetes, or

are just curious

check her out!

Anyways, she baked a banana bread and posted it. After

looking at it and longing to make some more bread

I decided i'd give it a try today. 

After trying to squeeze baking it in before breakfast

I had to stop and eat and then 

run to the store

ZERO brown sugar in the house. 

So this is how it turned out!

 

I had to enlarge it, so sorry for the fuzziness. 

This is what I did:

Ingredients:

2 cups Whole Wheat Flour

1tsp Baking Soda

2 Eggs 

1tsp of Vanilla

1/4 tsp salt

about 4.5 Bananas (they were all

bruising and hubs won't eat them)

One spoon of homemade applesauce

1/4 cup Brown Sugar 

1tbsp Butter

2/3 Cup Oatmeal (I just poured it in until it looked good. )

1/4 tbsp Nutella (just used a spoon)

I preheated my oven to 350 degrees. I melted the butter with the brown sugar in the microwave.

Then I put the bananas, vanilla and eggs in a big bowl together. (When I put the bananas in I broke them into pieces before putting in bowl to help mash them) I mashed until only small pieces of banana left. Measured dry ingredients in mixing cup. Poured the flour mixture in the wet mix. Added applesauce and oatmeal in . Mix until combined. Sprayed the bread loaf pan and dumped it in.

I then put nutella on the top and popped it into the oven. My nutella was still firm from being in the cupboard so i waited until it had been cooking for 10 minutes and swirled it around once it was warm

I cooked this together for 45 minutes. First 10, then swirl the nutella, then 35 remaining. 

Ate it= AWSOME. 

If you want MORE fiber, then you could add wheat germ to it too. :) 

Have you found a recipe and modified it to meet your dietary needs?

Let me know!!!:)

Stay warm!

-CK-

Illness- Try 2

So, as I said and didn't finish writing yesterday, 

I was very mad and upset. 

Mad being, Mad at the Insurance Companies who feel it is 

okay to charge people, who like me

cannot live without insulin because our body doesn't make it anymore. 

Not only in 2011 have I learned,

late of course

that my work insurance is being increased almost by $$$$$ bucks a month

but, after being told my coverage hasn't changed at all

just the amount covered

(But don't worry Cassie, VF(work place) has taken most of the 

burden of the payment increase to make it more

affordable for you) HAHAHA 

Can anyone have the right to say "more affordable" to 

a Type-1 Diabetic?

Any Type-1's out there reading this, because I bet you too

are laughing. 

My whole life, is, has been, will be

Money. 

Money to go to the doctor

Money to track my blood sugars 3-4x a day

Money for the endless supplies it takes to DO that.

Money for my two types of insulin I must take

to function, to live, to help my pancreas break down the sugars in the food

I eat. 

Money to go to the doctor when I cannot figure out why my numbers

aren't reading what they should.

Money that gets given to the darn insurance companies for less

coverage on my insulin because unlike a normal medication

mine is not only tier 2 but also monitored and I can only have so much

with me at a time. 

I pray for a month I don't have to have the pharmacist check the actual medicine

in the bag she wanted me to pay for

because time and time again, I am given

the wrong medicine, 

the wrong kind

the wrong dose

or the wrong formula for what I have to take. 

Uggh.. sorry for the downer of posts but I feel better

getting this off of my mind and put into words. 

Do you not want to hear about diabetes? Do you have some medical frustration you have?

 Say it. Do any of you deal with the stressed of how "affordable" heath care is for us?

Let me know!!!

::Caution:: VENTING ON ILLNESS

For those of you who don't want to hear(well read)

the truth about how I feel, then stop here. 

If you aren't sure you want to hear what it is like

to will with an illness you cannot control

than stop reading.

I'm just cautioning you. 

So.. 

I'M SOO MAD. 

For those of you, which I adore, that read this, and are not family

you may not know that in 2007 I was diagnosed with

an illness I would never get a break from. 

For the rest of my life, I will have to take injections

to make my body work how it is supposed to. 

I started getting really sick. First what I remember is

I was getting leg cramps in the middle of the night.

waking up to them, was just horrible.

Then I noticed my skin was really tight and dry, 

especially when I had just finished eating. 

Then I remember bad headaches, that would last a really long time. 

I remember starting to drink one or two extra drinks a day,

then when i'd get home from classes (I was in college at this time)

and make a pitcher of koolade (however it is REALLY spelled.)

and drink the entire thing in minutes. 

Despite what my now husband then boyfriend would tell me, my now Sister In Law

since I lived with her, she would notice and tell me, I didn't care. 

I had classes to finish, finals to take and more nursing classes were far more important

than my health anyways. 

I promised Austin( now husband, then boyfriend, hehe) that

once his sister (my roommate) graduated, as she was that month

that I would find a doctor in Dubuque (We went to the University of Dubuque)

and go see what is going on. 

As a nursing student I thought by knowing what I did that this is serious

and probably the signs of diabetes, but DEFINITELY didn't want that title.

So as I was working, going to school, packing up to move after school was out, 

Val graduated from UD and the next Monday I went to the first of TOO MANY

doctor appointments.

They saw me for the first time, took blood, checked blood sugar, 

told me to pee in those stupid cups, 

after all that and lots of waiting, they told me I had to go to 

the endocrinologist's office (Internal Medicine) because their meter

wasn't reading anything for me but it appeared I might have diabetes. 

I drove across Algona to the doctor's appintment and I balled my eyes out in my car

calling Austin. 

I don't remember those words exactly but I bet it was something like, 

Me- Kid?

Austin- Yeah, how'd it go

Me- (balling my eyes out) Can you come here( GAVE DIRECTIONS)

He met me there, and we went in. 

Met Dr. Iverson and he tested some blood and such again before I actually met with him. 

He then after waiting, He gave me the dreaded news, 

As I sat there, crying, holding Austin's hand

He told my I have

Type -1 Diabetes. 

I KNEW what this meant. This meant LOTS of needles, shots, doctor appointments

and the feeling that I will be sick forever. 

Little did I know, being in college with my parents insurance wasn't even 

the HALF of it. 

(Currently, writing this I'm balling my eyes out. I will continue this sob of a story

later, when I can compose myself to write more.)

For anyone that stayed listening (well, reading)

this, THANK YOU.

-Cassie-