Sunday, January 29, 2012

We Are ALIVE!!

So this is the start of my second 
FULL week back at work. 

If you aren't following me on Facebook
then I'll fill you in about some recent changes. 

The Monday after we arrived home
after having Elia,
I got a phone call from the boss
for a position I applied for in September.
I got a heads up about an upcoming opening for this position
by my current boss prior to having Elia. 

Well, She called and offered me the Job
that I had already applied for. 
I started on the 18th back at work as a
Targeted Case Manager for Vera French Mental Health Center. 
I worked at VF previously since 2009 
and hopefully now am settled in 
to a position for a little while. 

So I started work. 

Holy Moly,
this was a lot more difficult than I had thought about. 
I never thought i'd be able to get out of the house in time
and not be late for work. 
Well we survived, and 
for the most part we are all doing well.

Elia did have her 2month doctor visit on the 12th,
and she is 10lb 12oz, 21 3/4 inch long and is going great. 


She fell asleep while I cut her nails before her bath. 
Too cute!!

 And these are her new diapers. 
We use the Bumgenius Elemental All in Ones
and she LOVES them. 

I know you might think i sound crazy for knowing how much she
LOVES them but seriously. 
She can sit in these bad boys for any amount of time
and not care it's full. 
Sorry I said it. 

But when our washer broke and we had to order new parts
I wasn't about to hand wash her diapers, 
I know, bad mommy. 
SO we used the disposables we have stashed and 

she'd barely go to the bathroom and scream and cry until she gets
it changed.
That's probably why we went through 11 boxes of diapers in a 2 months. 
Oh well, we're back on them!

I changed her diaper at this 5am feeding and
she fell asleep once her head hit the pad
and stayed until i finished. 

She's so silly. 

I might be a little more worn and exhausted but she is worth
it and I have to remind myself of this,
when i reach for the second 
thermos of coffee. 

For a fake coffee drinker, 
I'm really depending on it these days. 

Hope you all have a great day!
Need to feed Elia again,
and then off to church. 

If only her Dad could get up to join us!!!
Sleepy heads!


Tuesday, January 17, 2012

Bringing Elia into the World (Part 2)

So I know it has been a while, 
and for that I apologize. 
We've been busy soaking up as much
family time as possible
and now, tomorrow
is my first day back at work
since having Elia. 
Definitely a hard week. 

But I thought, I really need to finish her birth story
before I head back. 
For me, hopefully
this is closure. 

I've obviously been seen by many doctors
both for her and I since having her
and explaining this experience,
I still cry. 
I want that to change. 

So here's here we left off...

After telling Dr. J that I didn't feel his 
lack of "encouraging" words were helping
I remember sitting on the table thing
and just looked at him crying.

I told him that just because I'm diabetic
and I'm not past 2cm dilated doesn't mean
I will necessarily have complications. 

and he then continued to try more to 
convince me that yes, it doesn't mean I WILL
but I could and hurt myself and her. 

I remember him asking me
over and over what I want to do. 

HELLO, i'm sitting here, 
alone, almost 40weeks
uncomfortable with a LARGE amount of 
tired, wanting my unborn child to be healthy and okay
and I don't know what to do. 

I told him, 
This is what I want,
I want to deliver Elia as naturally as I can, 
with the option. 
I want to have her on Friday, 11.11.11, 
her due date unless she decides to come on her own. 
I want my husband and younger sister in the room with me,
and I'm obviously okay with being induced.

The entire time I was telling him this, 
he rolled his eyes and smiled. 

When I finished, 
he laughed and said,
"Well, that's not going to happen."
How's Wednesday for you?

I asked him, "WHAT?"

He told me that since he is gone Friday on vacation,
he can't,
and Thursday he is too busy in the office
and doesn't want to schedule anything extra.
So Wednesday am, sounds good?

UGGH, I couldn't believe him.
I didn't want this. 
I continued to tell him this is NOT what I want. 
That all i wanted was to keep to our
birth plan as much as we could.
So far, I am getting nothing for the 
experience I've thought about, 
dreamed about and prepared for.
I was certainly not mentally prepared for this experience. 

He told me again,
Well go home to Austin and see what he has to say,
and get back to me tomorrow, 
we can still schedule your C-Section tomorrow 
for Wednesday. 

I raised my voice and told him
there is no discussing this with Austin. 
I am a woman, I am the one pregnant
carrying a baby girl
Austin is NOT the one going to tell me what I want to do
and frankly, Dr. J, 
Austin would be pissed as much as I,
that you aren't listening to me, 
when he's going to be there making sure
I am getting the care I WANT and NEED.

He stood there cold, with his arms
crossed over his chest and said,
I remember this like it was yesterday,
"Well, I can't sit here all day watching you cry."
Just schedule the C-Section,
have a baby girl, 
no complications,
and the deal is over. 

I just put my head down and cried. 
He just watched me. 

We had been in his office now, for almost an hour 
and a half. 

I asked him if this was his wife what would he do,
knowing she wanted NOTHING of this.

He said, I would tell her I wouldn't want
a dead child. 
And I would tell her she's having a c-section.
No questions. 

After sitting there being so upset,
so alone,
and completely appalled that this man, 4 days before
was the kindest, most compassionate Dr. I had found for an OB
has changed so much.

I no longer trusted him,
or what he would do to me if I 
decided to have it. 

I asked him what the procedure would be like,
and what we had to do.

All I remember hearing while my worst
nightmare was becoming a reality

nurse gets you prepped,
Anesthesiology comes in.
your wheeled into the OR,
Austin's allowed in,
i cut you open.
after 15 minutes,
pain and complications free
you'll have a baby.

just that. 

After a few minutes just feeling like
I had no choices,
I had nothing left in me to fight him,
he wasn't listening,
he didn't care anymore,
it was just for his convenience,

he said, in the most annoying chipper voice 
as he walked eagerly to the door,
Okay, Wednesday it is. 
and left. 

After I sat there crying for a few more minutes 
his younger nurse came in and 
Dr. J said to go see Tracy and she'll get you the
I have to get the room ready 
for the next patient. 

For me this was a dream. 
This wasn't happening.
I had no idea who this doctor was,
I had no idea who I was looking at,
or what I was getting myself into.

Before I left that room, I felt Elia kick. 
I hadn't remembered her kick the entire time
we were in there 

My face was all red,
tears strolling down my eyes. 
Tracy looked at me and she started 
getting tears in her eyes.
She handed me the papers
and said softly,
"cheer up hunny, good luck Wednesday"

The entire room was full of woman. 
I remember this one woman, 
who i've seen a couple times,
she seemed pretty far along in her pregnancy
just look at me and her
facial expression changed to such a sad look.
frown almost. Maybe she too was ready to cry with me. 

I walked to the car and as soon as I touched the outside door 
from the building,
I just blew out crying. 
So hard. 
I waited in my car crying until I could speak 
to Austin. 
I think it took 10 minutes almost. 

I told him, 
and I was so numb I don't remember anything but
telling him I have a c-section scheduled for Wednesday
November 9th and we had to be there at 5:30am. 

I don't remember anything else from that day. 
After a few hours i finished paperwork at the house
and cried myself to a nap. 
I ignored all phone calls and texts' 
from family asking how my appointment went. 

I just couldn't tell them.

Austin came home, we talked about it.
I can honestly say, I've never seen my husband
so upset in all my life with him. 

the next day, Tuesday, 
I called Dr. J's office, 
and told them I did not want to have a c-section tomorrow,
I was not happy,
He treated me very badly in his office,
I want to try to have her naturally,
and that is it. No more 
discussing "options".
Tracy then gave the phone to his main nurse
and she then told me,
well, there is nothing she can do,
because I can't have her on the 11th, 
because he is gone and for some reason,
we cannot find any of  your paperwork 
before this past week.

I told her you are kidding me. 
I have been in your office, for the past 3 months, twice a week,
then before that twice a month for 3 months before that. 
And you are telling me, ______, that you no longer have 
any of my records from yesterday?

She confirmed, Yes that is true. 

I told her  you guys are seriously a joke. 
That is such a lie. How can you magically lose all of my paperwork 
He knew how he spoke to me yesterday, and 
how unprofessional and rude he was.
I will not accept that answer, ____. 

She then said here, I'm giving you to Darcy. 
So I then had to explain to her. 
I'll keep it short by saying, 
I wished I would have hung up the phone on her.
She told me "he never goes on vacation"
"he deserves to go on vacation"
"he works very hard, and long hours"
"he has a stressful job"
"for his mental health he needs to go on vacations when he can schedule them"

I stopped her, and told her
no one needs to talk to me about HIS MENTAL HEALTH. 
I then told her, I was no longer speaking
and my husband will take care of it. 
I hung up. 

Austin then made phone calls to and from 
Dr. J's office, 
the previous OB office i went to trying to get in,
and even talked with his boss's doctor. 

Dr. J's office gave him the same line of BS that I got too. 
The only thing of importance said, was that,
we could come in and talk with Dr. J at 1pm
but if we need to cancel for tomorrow they need to know asap
because the Hospital doesn't appreciate
or can't handle
when scheduled cancellations happen.

the old OB office i went to, said at first they would ask the doctors,
then we got the okay.
then I got a phone call, 
as I hadn't called them at all, 
Austin did
and a different lady called me quickly after they got off the phone with Austin
and told me that
they now feel i am too much at risk,
that my BP is elevated,
My diabetes is not well managed,
and my excess fluid is too much of a liability for them 
to take me on as a patient again. 

I just hung up the phone. 
None of this information was accurate. 

Since when is an A1C of 5.3 uncontrolled
or a BP at 40 weeks pregnant 100/62 average bad
and yes, I did have more fluid, as all diabetes 
often carry more, which
is no harm to any of us.

I told Austin, he said Darcy must have called them
since he had JUST gotten off the phone with 
a different lady at the old OB office. 

From there, I turned in all my finished paperwork
to my boss.
Texted our family and told them we are having
a c-section tomorrow morning,and we will give them all the 
details when it's finished
and we aren't talking about what happened, just 
need to be at peace. 

The next day we showed up at the ER,
and as we left to check in, 
I saw Elia' name written in the caulk surrounding the window
of the ER check in. 

I looked at Austin,
held his hand
we both looked at eachother and shed a few tears while he took this photo.
The lady looked after asking what we were taking a photo of.
As we walked to the elevator,
we both just kept saying,
this must be a sign we will both be okay.

Then we had to convince the nurse who was going
to be getting me ready and in the OR
that we didn't want this decision but that
we don't want to be mad anymore.

Austin took these last photos of me
pregnant on 

I did find out, from that fantastic nurse,
that you can come into the hospital
with out a doctor
and they will help you.

She kept trying to tell us, 
we can fire him right now, and see someone else.

But I just needed to stop being mad and to 
meet Elia. 

then after being 11 minutes behind schedule,
it took exactly
11 minutes for her to be born
and at 7:22am we had Elia.

She was born at 7:22am, weighing 8lb 4 oz
and 19 1/2 inches long.

No signs of any complications or problems. 

Everyday I remind myself how lucky I am
to have her,
how one man made that day a day, I didn't want yet,
but the prize of dealing with that emotional 
week ended when we had 
our little girl. 

She is everything, and we are so lucky that
God blessed us with this 
beautiful, healthy, growing
little girl. 

Elia Irene Kimler!!

Thursday, January 5, 2012

Two Months...

Little Girl you are
two months old on 

Where does time go?

You used to be just a little bug at 8lbs and 
shrinking.. all the way to 7lbs

and then you started growing more.. and more
 at just 2 weeks old at the Festival of Trees Parade

To hanging out with friends before Christmas

to bathtimes with Momma
at almost 5 weeks 
 to at Five weeks....

This is how I carry you during the day so you
sleep and let Mommy do things around the house!

And so do you. 
When your cranky or not feeling well
because of your tummy
you like to be as close to mommy as possible. 
So i wrap myself up and slide you in
and a miracle happens..
You're happy!
 You still have tummy trouble,
but afterwards, all you want is me to hold you. 

Here we are at 6 weeks little girl.. all snuggly!

You're enjoying watching everything around you,
especially lights, fans, Kahuna and the 
christmas lights daddy hung around the ceiling of our living room.
You love watching moving objects, and
listening to any kind of music.

I think you prefer Christmas music
but you do enjoy animal sound lullibies!

Little girl, 
You are growing so fast, 
and catching on to things. 
You know when Mommy is around,
You know when Kahuna is near because of her collar
but when it's night time and we take her *necklace*
off, she sneaks up on you!!

You love it when Daddy comes home from work, 
and you love to hear your little musical panda 
that hangs from your carseat. 

You DO NOT like to be too hot,
but you typically love your bathtimes.

Almost each time Mommy feeds you
you or gets you to sleep in her arms
her darn insulin pump goes off. 
But I don't think you mind, 
you quite enjoy that extra vibration under your butt
or your head!!

You enjoy when we lay you flat on your back and you can
kick and groove your little body
and look around. 

When you wave your arms 
vigorously in
the air while your feeding or just finished eating
that means you need to burp

You like to be bounced around all day in
Mommy's arms and when anyone 
else holds you and she hears
that cry or whine, 
she knows you just want a little bounce in your step!

Mommy and Daddy's life will never be the same
little sweet girl
and we are so thankful for that. 
Even when we are tired,
or rushed
we have to to thank with that sweet smile
or wondering eyes 
that we are so lucky for you to be in our lives
and how lucky we are to have a 
healthy baby girl
in our home. 

Thank you little girl for being patient with us
and for letting Mommy and Daddy 
learn all about you!!
We are so lucky and 
can't believe you are almost 2 months old!!!

Plus, your just now fitting better in
0-3month clothes, so your 
wardrobe just got
about 80% bigger!!!

Monday, December 12, 2011

Bringing Elia into the world.. [part 1]

I figured i'd get as much written as I can while
the bean naps. 

I also want you all to know this has taken me a while
1. because of the time not available
2. I never really know how to start this 
3. I think i'm to the point where i'm a little less angry and feel
I can give you all details with out my attitude showing through. 

so here it goes..

Tuesday November 1, 2011
I had my ultrasound to check on Elia's growth.
I went alone, since Austin can't really take time off
and She was moving around beautifully, sucking on her fingers and thumbs
and we even saw her hair moving in the fluid. 
I'm still carrying more fluid than the average woman,
that put me a week over due for size (me not the baby).
At this point 38 weeks 4 days Elia was measuring
8lb10oz on her machine. From the previous Ultrasound of 7lb 15oz(i think)
two weeks earlier.
They said all was good, and no concerns other than my extra fluid. 
Which so you know, Diabetes carry more amniotic fluid
than normal pregnant mothers. There is no harm to the
baby because of this, it just means,
bigger belly, more uncomfortable
and baby(ies) get more swimming room. 
I left thinking this was my last one and no worries, she'll be here before 
I'd have to come back. 
Thanked the Lady.

I was having pretty painful contractions and having a difficult time. 
I went for a few walks to try and push this along,
as they lasted pretty long, and continued to get 
more intense. 
As they continued to increase even when I was resting
I decided along with Austin to call the Ob Doctor and see what I should do. 
After waiting for Austin to get off work, 
we went to the hospital thinking this was the beginning of labor
and after being there for a few hours,
monitoring my contractions 
and then 
making sure I wasn't leaking fluid (which i wasn't)
we were sent home. 
Not a happy camper, but I was so uncomfortable and in pain
I wasn't sure it could hurt that much worse.

Thursday November 3rd, 2011- 
I went in for my normal Non stress test at 8:30am like clockwork. I 
had these every Monday and Thursday and following my NST
on Thursday I then had my exam. 
This exam was just like the past few,
contractions still there, 
super uncomfortable- still there
baby dropped- check
and I was measuring at around 1cm dilated.
So not moving the way I want but not too big of a deal. 
OB Doctor asked me to think about what I want for
delivery methods and what is
important for me
 as far as my birth plan goes.

We discussed "our"

Well my plan, was to try to have our daughter naturally,
meaning vaginally, would be induced if I had to, but wanted to try.
I wanted to break the cycle of every diabetic i've heard of
having a C-Section. My blood pressure was beautiful, my blood sugars
were awesome,
there is no concern or reason for anything but trying naturally.

I discussed this thoroughly with my OB Doctor and we were
both clear what we wanted, discussed her due date being on the 11th,
the following Friday.
He reviewed with me, like usual what to do if I think i'm in labor,
who to call, the signs and of course
to call him if i feel anything is wrong, like
bleeding, pain in different areas which he pointed out to me
or decrease in fetal movements.
He then said he'll see me on Monday.

Weekend went and passed. Same amount of contractions 
and same pain. Now i'm to the point where this isn't labor and I'm
getting used to the pain being so intense i am just telling myself
it's supposed to get worse, and this shouldn't be this bad. 

Monday November 7th, at 10:00am I had another ultrasound
to check on Elia's size. The tech stated that
regardless of what her machine tells her, 
that her margin of error is extremely high
and would likely be incorrect
since it has only been 6 days since my last one.
Today, Elia measured in at 8lbs 11oz.
Only 1oz more than last week. 
She  discussed with me how this 
cannot be accurate and that Elia is probably well into the
9lb range. 

I left that appointment, called/texted my family and Austin's
like I do each and every time. Waiting for the follow up later
to give anyone more than Austin "real" details.

then it came for my appointment
with my OB Doctor. 1:00pm... waited for 30 minutes before getting in to 
start my NST(Non Stress Test).
Went just fine. Lots of contractions and big ones, painful ones. She was
doing just fine though, moving around.
Even though these past 2-3 NST's her movements have 
slowed down a lot, she was still punching and kicking me plenty. 
Then it came time to wait for him to come in
for my exam. 

After waiting more, keeping my blood sugar up, as it was starting to
become extra sensitive to the amount of insulin
i was taking. Also a sign of labor to come. 
He came in, all chipper and making extra nice comments, 
like how great I look pregnant right now, how my belly
looks wonderful from the side.. and other ones I don't remember anymore. 
I was tired from not sleeping and still in pain.
I was still not dilated very much, he was thinking between 1-2 cent. 

He then wanted to review my plan. 
He asked if I had discussed with my husband what I wanted for my plan.
I explained to him the same thing we've discussed the entire time,
since day 1 and we reviewed last week.
So I told him since I'm full term on Friday
that if she doesn't come before Friday on her own,
that I want to be induced on Friday, her due date. 

[ This is when I can honestly say with my whole heart, 
this man, who I had known as my honest,
understanding, compassionate OBGYN
changed. ]

In almost a joking, mildly sarcastic way
told me "well, that won't work out for me
as I am going out of town on vacation on Friday
and won't be back until Monday."

I told him that Friday was my due date,
and one of the stipulations when I changed doctors from
the Group to him was that he was supposed to be here on
my due date,
and that I would not have ANY doctors from the Group
deliver her under ANY circumstance.
(he did inform me he had other doctors that he could have as backup
instead of the group, which now i don't even believe)

He pretty much laughed that off, saying, well, 
that is what I can do. 

Looking at him in a complete loss for words,
as i TRUSTED this man, to not only
help me, take care of my health and my baby
but to be honest with me. 

He started telling me that my baby is probably well
into the 9 lb range and would be completely too big for me to 
even try and deliver. 

I explained to him, like he did so again on this past Thursday,
November 3rd, that yes, Diabetics can have bigger babies,
and when babies to diabetic mom's grow they don't grow like normal babies.
The girth of their weight is in the shoulders and the chest
therefore making it difficult or hard to deliver naturally. 
However this weight which would determine to be unsafe was 
at 9lb 15oz. 
We had no indication that Elia was even that close,
Nor was she 9lbs yet. 

He looked me in the eyes and tried many times to 
convince me THIS is what is happening to me. 
That my unborn daughter is now gaining so much weight
I won't be able to try. 

He rudely told me, since I was insisting that I wanted the
opportunity to try, that "i'll just call genesis right now, and see what they have
but you can't be mad at me when you need an 
emergency c-section."

I sat there on the table, just SHOCKED out of my mind
that his is seriously him talking to me. 

I told him I don't want to have her today, I want her on
Friday, as that is her due date. 
He told me that he is on vacation on Friday, he has to leave
very early in the am,
and would be leaving early even on Thursday.


He then went on and on (sorry I don't remember every detail of this part)
about the complications of child birth. 
Over and over he told me how I as a mother need to make the decision 
I am happy with, and that no matter how this child is in this world
it's here. 
If i try naturally, I might not be able to anyways, and 
I just when through those strenuous hours pushing or 
contracting for nothing. He assured me, this happens
to almost every woman that is wanting to go 
"natural" first. 

He tried telling me that why put yourself through the pain of childbirth
when you can just have a little incision and it'll heal wonderfully
and then you'll have your baby out, without all the fatigue.

I told him I WANTED the fatigue. I wanted to be 
miserable and try to push Elia out myself. 
I explained to him again that since this is my first child we don't know what it will be like
what if i only takes a few hours, and 
she's here?

He convinced me, he's been doing this a long time
and this is not how it will go. 
That I need to TRUST him, that he knows better. 

I kept crying and telling him what about my birth plan,
why can't I have what I want. 
I told him Friday is the day, if not sooner if she comes on her own. 

Regardless of what i tried to say to him,
he wanted nothing of it. 

He then told me that I should just have the C-section, have a 
baby born after only 45 minutes and that there would be no 
worries. He then explained what will happen when I have a C-section. 

I got even more upset. I told him this is NOT what I want.
He asked me to go talk to my husband
and maybe he'll think this is a good idea too. 

I told him immediately, no.
My husband knows what I want, and he wants whatever
I want. He will not persuade me to make decisions
I am not okay with. 

OB Doctor then told me that I have two choices,
1. Try to have her naturally, be induced today, risk not dilating
and going through the labor only to push and while delivering her
I puncture this nerve (not sure what he said, not one I remember)
in her neck that can make her entire arm immobile, or even both. 
(I looked at him and told him this is a little
bit of an exaggeration) 
He told me this can happen and would if she was too big and I damaged my daughter.
He asked me how i'd feel knowing
I made this selfish decision that in the end hurt my daughter for the rest of her life? 
And that would I be able to live every day knowing she has to live damaged her entire life?
I told him I know what it is like
every single day to live your life
with something wrong with you that can't be fixed. 
He then told me, I can't compare Diabetes to not being able to use an arm. 
That it isn't the same thing. 
I told him he has no idea what it is like to have a
non curable disease and this conversation is over.

[Crying almost hysterically by this point, but still level headed to be truthful and
push for what i want told him] I don't think this is helping
me at all. I know what I want for my decision. I said I'd hope before this point there would be
red flags like you already indicated to me that would make this not continue
(such as me not dilating enough and needing a c-section anyway)
and then I told him that is why we'd then need an emergency c-section. 

he then came back to me saying, well there is a chance we wouldn't make it. 
Since you wanted this, and something went wrong, 
she could die before we had the chance to get her out of you. 
How would you feel if you killed your child because of a 
selfish decision?

I told him I'm done talking about this. 

he then went on to say my other options, 

Option 2- Have a scheduled C-section on Wednesday. 
Arrive there at 5am, get checked in, they'll get you all ready and
wheel you in. You'll get your spinal block and then within minutes you
and your husband will have your baby. And without complications. 
He told me this is the safest route for me. 

I just looked at him. 

He told me, "here, 
think about 8 weeks from now. 
Can you live with yourself knowing you knowingly
made a decision that caused your child to be immobile or even
that you killed your child? 
Could you live with yourself knowing you were so selfish and now have to bury your
newborn baby?
Could you live with yourself?"

Then he said OR, 
8 weeks from now, I could be finished healing from my
C-Section, which went perfectly,
and now I have my 8 week old safely in my arms. 

I told him he has gone too far, that this is NOT why i am here.
I told him he is not helping, and NO ONE, 
wants to EVER hear that they are making any decision 
to harm their child. NO ONE. 
That I don't appreciate him for talking to me like this, 
and that telling me I'm going to kill my child is 
a horrible thing to say to someone. 

[ sorry I have to stop here, Elia needs to be fed. I'll continue soon..]

Monday, November 21, 2011

Elia Irene....

Elia Irene Kimler
Born on 11-9-11
at 7:22am

8lbs 4 oz and 19 1/2 inches long

skin time..

 Best lactation consultant ever!!! Happy Elia!

 After a early morning feeding, stretching out with Mommy
Daddy and Kahuna time!!!

 Proud Daddy! Hanging out in her sling!

This is the only way i'll sleep. If she doesn't have one hand out
she cries until that little hand can touch her face. 
THANKFULLY they make swaddle blankets for 7lbs!!

And at her first Festival of Trees Parade 
enjoying  every minute of it!!!

It has been a wonderful 12 days of having her in our lives. 
It has certainly been a learning experience for the two of us
but we know this was the perfect decision we could have
ever made. 
The first day was the greatest. 
Prior to her arrival we had a very rough, 
meaning extremely heart breaking experience with my
OBGYN which I will explain in her birth story later,
however, with the want to just have her
in this world, safe, healthy and in our arms
we had her via c-section despite other plans or hopes. 

I was able to have low blood pressure and very managable 
blood sugars. 
Going into surgery, I had a great 103mg/dl and stayed in the 90's following. 
Was able to wear my pump the entire time, 
had WONDERFUL nurses and my anesthesiologist was one in a million. 
We were nervous and anxious to meet her
but once we heard her cry,
our hearts melted. 

She is forever ours and we are so
lucky and blessed to have her 
in our lives. 
No feeling, or experience having her in our arms,
or seeing her in her daddy's arms 
can be any better. 

I will let you all enjoy these sweet photos before 
getting into the details of her birth story. 
Thank you all for watching over us, praying for us, 
keeping tabs on our progress and 
wanting a healthy baby and mom as much as we did!!

In case I don't make it back in a couple days, 
Happy Thanksgiving Everyone!
Enjoy those little moments, those that would normally be upsetting, 
or those when things go wrong, like a burnt side dish or 
dry turkey. 
Just remember, there are greater things in life and the little
miracles in life are the greatest blessings. 
Enjoy family and friends
as those memories are the ones we 
carry in our hearts forever. 


Tuesday, November 1, 2011

Waiting at 38 weeks...

Sorry I have been MIA lately. 
This month sure has been busy!

Since our last post, we have been to 
A family Wedding, 
My niece and nephew turned
(I didn't make their cakes this year :( )
Not going to miss doing that next year. Store bought cakes are
just not the same. 

Here we are playing with the kids, 
well Emma and the adults made crafts! 
Can you tell how detailed our Birthday Cupcake was..

serious concentration.
Then after spending a wonderful weekend with my family
in the Chicagoland area
we then were blessed with a 
second baby shower!!

 This is a special photo for us, as all of these 
ladies haven't been in a photo together

It was a PERFECT day, great weather and 
lots of wonderful faces I don't get to see all that often. 
I will say, at this stage you REALLY
have to get clever when it comes to clothing!:)

Then the next week we were back to the grind
of cleaning up our house, trying to finish some house projects,
and for me, getting Elia's stuff all moved in, washed, 
put away, figured out and
Seriously people, it's so exciting but 
super tiring when you have such a big belly to lug around!

Don't worry, I'm not complaining. 

Then we met Mr. 38 Weeks of Pregnancy last Friday. 
It has been bittersweet. 
I've been struggling super bad with my diabetes, as it 
relates to my sensors. 
For those of  you, 
A sensor is part of a Continuous Glucose Monitoring
system that reads my blood sugar every minute for a 5 minute average. 
This has been stressful when it doesn't work, but 
super awesome when it does. 
I cannot tell  you the number of 
lows I wouldn't have felt if I didn't
have a little reminder. 
However, since week 37, we've struggled and over a week ago
we did this. 

with a desperate attempt to help me this week. 
After practically crying to the NICE Medtronic Rep
(Seriously, he was the NICEST one i've talked to. 
His name was Patrick. )

We tried the arm site, which is COMPLETELY
new to this girl. 
The white part is the transmitter and the sensor which is 
inserted into my arm is the purple part. 
The plastic tape is just to keep it in place. 
Don't you worry, it is TOTALLY necessary,
as on Sunday after 3 attempts for my dear husband to change it for me
people from a 
harpoon of a needle. 
I then accidently ripped one completely out while handing out candy and bled. 
UGGH. So the 4th is still in today. 
And it better stay until after this baby is out. 

Oh yeah, that is where we are now. 
Wanting this little precious girl OUT OF MY BODY. 
We've continued to be monitored and both
she and I are doing well. 
She is kicked away, even though her movements 
have slowed down,
but she is definitely lower now. 

I'm just in this stage that I never thought, Me, 
and this disease would have this little girl
baking inside of me for this long. 
I'm so grateful that she is doing great and healthy. 
By this point, I'm sure it's mostly excitement, 
but now my body is super uncomfortable, 
having contractions, the pressure
the waddling, the having to use the restroom
at least twice an hour, and if I move around, watch out, 
I can't even hold it 10minutes. 
We really should have taken stock in
Charmin. lol 

But despite how grateful I am that she is 
still all cozy and warm, 
Momma wants you out little girl. 
It is super hard to concentrate on work now, 
with the million things my body is going through and
still trying to work 
so I get every extra day with her later. 
So, hopefully after this post
the next one will be
"She's HERE"
"We did it"
"Meet the World Elia"
"A diabetic really DID have a healthy baby"
lol or

Which ever it is, she'll be here soon 
and we are so thankful, lucky, blessed and excited!

Don't you all worry, we WILL
post birth info and pictures up
but for now.. 
just keep us in your prayers for a safe,
and healthy Mom and Baby. 
And oh yeah, a helpful non working pancreas 
to take it easy on me. As these blood sugars are gunna be hard to control!!!

Thanks everyone!:)

Thursday, October 6, 2011


Soon... We'll be past 35 weeks
Soon... We'll finish the last touches of her nursery
Soon.. I'll be able to nap!
Soon... I will have time off work to enjoy being with Family
Soon... my feet with stop swelling
Soon... my house will be even more of a mess
than it is now
Soon.. We will have one more visit with family and baby shower
Soon.. We will be packing the bag for the hospital
(you read that right, still haven't gotten there)
Soon... We'll be waiting for real contractions to start
Soon.. We will be heading to the hospital..
Soon.. We will be bringing items from the hospital back for kahuna 
Soon.. We'll be delivering our Daughter
Soon.. our family will be a family of 3+ Kahuna
Soon... Austin and I will be parents. 

As uncomfortable as I am, 
As unslept as I keep becoming,
As exhausted I get from still working too much and 
too hard
We are 35 weeks tomorrow. 
in two weeks, the
17th of October we have our last little look
and Baby Elia inside me

It's amazing to think that in March we couldn't believe how long 
this process and journey would be. 
Now, it feels like I'll be a mom tomorrow. 
It's amazing how fast life moves,
and we don't even have born children yet. 

Regardless of anything else, 
I'm so happy to be here right now, 
this pregnant
still have Elia growing and living inside of my body
and blessed to have what we have. 

Here we are... at just shy of 35 weeks..
Of course us with Kahuna.. the ladies of the house

My front view!!

Another side view in Elia's Room!

<3 Cassie