Thursday, June 16, 2011

Thankful Thursday...

I've restarted this post about
three times, 
so i'm going with Thankful Thursday. 

I don't feel thankful for everything but 
I'm thankful for Thursdays. 
typically I have all of my doctor appointments on Thursday's. 
It works with my schedule
and my clients' needs.

This Thursday I'm doctor free
but NEXT WEEK.. oh next week is the big week. 
Next week, on Thursday we have our next ultrasound. 
We will hopefully find out the sex of our growing baby. 
I'm so excited, and overwhelmed. 
I'm happy to see is grow, heck i'm thankful it's growing
and so big i'm sure. 
I'm thankful that we are able to use technology to see our little one
and see it's progress. 
I'm thankful that I was given this opportunity to 
carry a child, knowing some cannot, 
and some struggle very much. 

I'm thankful that I have had low blood sugars, 
and no matter how much they hurt me,
they make me feel like crap
or I feel like i'm going to pass out, 
I know it is because 
our baby is growing and I must be doing 

I'm also thankful for the people in my life, 
either friends or family
that are there for me. 
The ones that care about my well being, 
who help me in any way they can, 
they shop for me, they make things for me, 
they use their hands to help build things for me. 
I cannot thank them more from the bottom of my heart. 

I am forever thankful for these people I have in my life. 
and with all of those great people
that I am so completely thankful for
it makes me sad the people in our lives that aren't filling 
those shoes, or aren't present.
It just saddens me to think some people 
aren't letting things go, 
or aren't thinking about positive things in our lives and 
making the best out of bad situations. 
I wish I could fix everything, but
obviously I can't. 
I'm only saying this, not to that those people
will read this, 
(that's not my intention nor do I think most of them read this)
but it's bringing me down, 
and I know I can't expect
everyone to try and be positive
because I have to
 but because it's easier for me to write it here
than keep thinking it. 
I just wish this world was more positive, 
and less individualized. 

I don't think this will ever change for me, 
but just know, no friends and family 
are perfect, 
and it's just how far are you willing to 
push yourself to stop allowing those 
negative people
 bother you and make you feel worse. 

I'm ending this post now by saying 
how thankful I am for life, 
for freedom,
for technology, 
for skilled doctors, 
for loved ones, 
for the strength within
and for pets. 

Because when you sure do feel crappy 
or deal with blood sugars, 
it's great to have them to lick your face off!!!

What are You thankful for?


Sunday, June 12, 2011

baking.. both in the oven and in the belly..

I have to admit, 
I do love baking, but normally when I bake in my oven
I don't get as many low blood sugars as baking this baby. 
Yes, I talk about baking this baby..
oh well. 
That's pretty much what I do. 
Feed it, allow it to rise in time, 
keep the door closed ( i guess, that's odd, sorry)
allow it to do it's thing.
wait until the timer is done
and the BING, bakin's done. 
Just mine takes 10 months not 
20 minutes. 

Oh wouldn't that be worth it. HA

Anyway, before I talk about baby stuff, here is my post 
about the recipe from yesterday
which i cut into butterflies..

it made, 14 of these with tons of
leftover pieces. 
This is what they look like when I was almost
finished decorating

So I have made one pretty similar to this, but I used
the Red Velvet Sheet cake from Pioneer Woman
Ree Drummond is lovely.

So First here are the ingredients you need:
2 1/2 Cups Cake Flour(I've used all purpose many times too)
1 1/4 teaspoon Salt
2 Eggs
1 Cup Buttermilk
1 Cup Shortning
1 3/4 Cup Sugar
1 teaspoon Vanilla
1 teaspoon Baking Soda
1 1/2 teaspoon White Vinegar
1.5 bottles of Red Food Coloring
(it is 1 1/2oz, you can also use different colors than Red. )
1 1/2 teaspoon Cocoa Powder
( I used 2 whole teaspoons)

And you need a 350 Degree Oven. Also make sure whatever pan you are using, 
make sure it is super greased up. I use
Wilton's Cake Release which is upside down in the photo
but you can spray or butter the pan(s) too

Okay so first you sift the Flour and Salt together

Then mix Buttermilk, Eggs, Vanilla, baking soda and Vinegar in a bowl
and mix well. 
I would put this my mixer but realized I didn't want that and moved it. 

Then mix Cocoa Powder and Food Coloring

Then cream shortening and sugar together

Then alternate putting the buttermilk mixture
and flour mixture in to the 
creamed shortening and sugar.

oh yeah, I use bakers sugar, it is super fine
and is only a little more expensive than 
regular sugar

and in case you are wondering, I am not using splenda in
my cooking or drinks now, to 
1. help keep my bs's up
and 2. I'm trying to limit the amount I have of it as it isn't good for 
little growing baby. 
so real sugar it is. 

okay back to baking

When it's mixed
then put in the food coloring and cocoa
and side note, don't spill this on the WHITE TILE COUNTERTOP
you have.Bad bad. 
I had to move everything and quickly bleach it. 
okay so then put it in your pan
and smooth it out so it is level and even
then bake at 350 for 20 minutes
If you use a bigger pan or make it thicker
I would go for 30 minutes and check on it every 5 
until done. 
Also, while I cook/bake I always try to find something
where i put my scraps or pieces in. 
So I don't have to keep running to the garbage. 

Okay for the frosting, 
I've used this many times, 
it's super fluffy and smooth and
not super heavy. LOVE IT.

OKay it starts like this,

5 Tablespoons of flour and 1 cup of milk. 
You can use half and half or whipping cream too
then whisk that until it is thick
like a pudding. 
Don't worry, it'll be lumpy and goopy 
and weird looking. PROMISE
You're doing everything right. When all of it is like that
put it into a bowl from room temp until your cake it done, 
by then it is cooled off enough.
Only use it when it is cooled. If your in a hurry you can cover it and put it in the fridge 
of in another bowl in a ice bath

in your mixer mix 1cup of butter, softened, 
and 1 cup of GRANULATED sugar NOT powdered
Add Vanilla to the cooled flour mixture.
Then beat the living daylights out of this, no joke
sometimes it takes 7-8 minutes. 
Just keep going
then it will just fluff. 
White, fluffy, smooth, creamy, light 
I piped mine, but you can spread it too.
This makes enough for 12 cupcakes or
a small cake. 
I piped it on my 14 butterflies with about a cup extra. 


Okay baby news. 
Seriously, I thought these low days were over
I have consistently been in the 50's
and it is super annoying. 
this baby is working me out. 
I get not one single sign. 
I have no idea what my blood sugar is doing. 
It's so frustrating. 
The CGM doesn't tell me exactly what is going on 
and I just have to think,
well, it's been _____ long since i've 
tested, I'll test again. 

or 51
53 and falling with two arrows down. 
While making this cake, I had two lows,
one 51 and one 53.
How terrible. 
I ate over 8 whole glucose tabs
chugged juice from the container
and even ate cake and fruit
Then I get all tired and feel like i've hit a truck or something. 

It's good, better than being high
but I am so scared of not knowing when it's coming. 
I feel like my fingers are being so abused it's not funny. 
I am just telling myself
and baby
that if this is him (or her) 
telling me their hungry or growing, 
i'll try and eat more. 
It's just not as easy as the movies tell you. 

Maybe being diabetic I have to drink and eat when i'm not hungry 
because of the numbers
so when I do get to eat, i'm not starving
or craving anything. 

Which also is affecting my weight.
 I lost the 4lbs I gained a couple of weeks ago, 
which I felt it was just the growing I felt I was going through.
I felt it. 
But now they are worried that I am not eating enough and pushing for those 2500 calories. 
I'm trying. 
I never knew how hard it would be to 
try and gain weight for a baby. 
I'm already (and sad to admit)
getting to where it takes a breath away to get off the couch,
walk up and down the stairs a few times 
especially while carrying something. 
I feel helpless. 
Like carrying laundry downstairs is NOT hard, 
or hardly a stupid workout. 
I can walk and i'm okay, 
but anything physical, 
I just feel like my baby and everything that goes with it
just stops me from moving around comfortably.
and it's only
going to get worse. 


When I can get Austin to upload a photo I will post
photos of the belly!!
hard to believe we are 18 weeks and 3 days now. Time flies
I don't know if enough will comment but
we find out the sex either the 23rd or 27th. 
Anyone wanna guess what it is?

Anyways, thanks for reading! 
Stay tuned!