::Caution:: VENTING ON ILLNESS

For those of you who don't want to hear(well read)

the truth about how I feel, then stop here. 

If you aren't sure you want to hear what it is like

to will with an illness you cannot control

than stop reading.

I'm just cautioning you. 

So.. 

I'M SOO MAD. 

For those of you, which I adore, that read this, and are not family

you may not know that in 2007 I was diagnosed with

an illness I would never get a break from. 

For the rest of my life, I will have to take injections

to make my body work how it is supposed to. 

I started getting really sick. First what I remember is

I was getting leg cramps in the middle of the night.

waking up to them, was just horrible.

Then I noticed my skin was really tight and dry, 

especially when I had just finished eating. 

Then I remember bad headaches, that would last a really long time. 

I remember starting to drink one or two extra drinks a day,

then when i'd get home from classes (I was in college at this time)

and make a pitcher of koolade (however it is REALLY spelled.)

and drink the entire thing in minutes. 

Despite what my now husband then boyfriend would tell me, my now Sister In Law

since I lived with her, she would notice and tell me, I didn't care. 

I had classes to finish, finals to take and more nursing classes were far more important

than my health anyways. 

I promised Austin( now husband, then boyfriend, hehe) that

once his sister (my roommate) graduated, as she was that month

that I would find a doctor in Dubuque (We went to the University of Dubuque)

and go see what is going on. 

As a nursing student I thought by knowing what I did that this is serious

and probably the signs of diabetes, but DEFINITELY didn't want that title.

So as I was working, going to school, packing up to move after school was out, 

Val graduated from UD and the next Monday I went to the first of TOO MANY

doctor appointments.

They saw me for the first time, took blood, checked blood sugar, 

told me to pee in those stupid cups, 

after all that and lots of waiting, they told me I had to go to 

the endocrinologist's office (Internal Medicine) because their meter

wasn't reading anything for me but it appeared I might have diabetes. 

I drove across Algona to the doctor's appintment and I balled my eyes out in my car

calling Austin. 

I don't remember those words exactly but I bet it was something like, 

Me- Kid?

Austin- Yeah, how'd it go

Me- (balling my eyes out) Can you come here( GAVE DIRECTIONS)

He met me there, and we went in. 

Met Dr. Iverson and he tested some blood and such again before I actually met with him. 

He then after waiting, He gave me the dreaded news, 

As I sat there, crying, holding Austin's hand

He told my I have

Type -1 Diabetes. 

I KNEW what this meant. This meant LOTS of needles, shots, doctor appointments

and the feeling that I will be sick forever. 

Little did I know, being in college with my parents insurance wasn't even 

the HALF of it. 

(Currently, writing this I'm balling my eyes out. I will continue this sob of a story

later, when I can compose myself to write more.)

For anyone that stayed listening (well, reading)

this, THANK YOU.

-Cassie-