Thursday, May 19, 2011

seeing baby move and meeting Dr. Uneducated....

So after getting the pump and a little before
I was under orders to write everything down. my sheets looked like this:
 I basically wrote down everything that I was eating, 
how many carbohydrates each item has.

This was annoying, mostly because between the 6-7 different
insulin injections and writing this all down
I was exhausted, more than I already was. 

Oh yeah, and lets quickly talk about how TIRED I am. 
Seriously, low blood sugars, tired passed exhaustion. 
Another weird thing is 
at night time, when i was able to fight through that nauseousness,
something happened. 
In the evenings,  I cannot concept food 
let me explain. 
After 3-4pm, I can't think about how to make food, 
you say chicken and I can't think about what it looks like, 
what it tastes like, 
how to cook it, 
or what to do with it. 
Seriously, no joke, not funny and totally debilitating.
Austin would ask what I want, i'd throw myself over the couch or chair and just mumble. 
I can't think. 
I don't know what food is. 
One day i was proud to walk him through how to make 
homemade mashed potatoes. 
But, unless he just does it and doesn't ask me questions, 
I can't figure it out. 
When he asks because he forgets and he wants to make me happy. 
I try to write everything down, count carbs take both insulins
and then i'm stuck. 
When he asks a food question (which i'm already nauseous)
i freak out, panic, can't count, can't push my fingers on the calculator to 
figure out the carb counting
and i'm crying now, crying like a little girl. 

So glad most of that is over, at least the thinking part of it. 

This was all for the preparation for the insulin pump which I am today
in my second week of but I'll get to that in a different post. 

Anyway, I had my first OB appointment with a doctor,
who i'll name Dr. Uneducated. 
First to make this a happy visit this is our little baby,
looking all perfect and beautiful:
 and with a heart rate of 165.

Beautiful beautiful baby. 
Austin was with me for the first part, and then he left to go back to work
and tell his boss and coworkers about our little baby.
I stayed and met with my first of 6 OBGYN Doctors.
So I met with Dr. Uneducated and I'm going to paint the picture for you

1. small COLD COLD exam room
2. Given what I call a folded napkin like paper to cover my ENTIRE BODY.
3.When given the napkin, literally the freakin size of a kitchen napkin, the kind you unfold in 4 squares. 
4. Completely naked and use this as a coverup. 
5. Hell, that thing only covered ONE of my B cup boobs, HELLO. 
6. Did I mention, this room was very cold. 
7. As I push the button, naked a nurse comes in and asks if she (Dr. Uneducated can bring in a student)
8. Why the Heck not, let's scare them. 
9. Dr. Uneducated came in with student.
10. They sat down, asking questions, mentioning it's hot in here and wondering if they can turn the air on. 
HECK NO, I'm shivering and have goose bumps on my body i'm so cold. 
questions were typical:
Medical history (which included much T1 talk)
Family History, 
Blood pressure check
Protein in urine check
What doctors i'm seeing.. and so on. 

SO after "chatting" of 45 minutes of so, 
naked, (i won't let you live this mental image down, i'm sorry)
then she did the physical body check and exam. 
Did the breast check, after explaining over and over I've had a reduction. 
She FREAKED out when she saw the scars.. big woop.
then when she saw my battle wounds..
as in injection bruises
she literally moved back, 
acted as if I have some type of plague, 
raised her voice and said
 Dr. Uneducated: "Umm. What are those from?"
Me: Umm, i'm diabetic remember
Dr. Uneducated: "uggh, do you take injections?"
Me: (in my head) No shit, did you not learn this in school. Type 1 diabetics only live
by giving them self injections of insulin. 
She stood still. 
I was laying there, her not wanting to touch me, 
and I then sat up and explained how type 1 happens, 
why I have to have injections, how mine is different than 
type 2 and that sometimes, mine result in bruises. 
And I give my injections typically in the stomach. 

Then she challenged me in asking, 
are you sure you're Type 1? 
Didn't they test you for Type 2. 
(she made some kind of comment about how I weigh more than the average type 1
and that you are normally diagnosed younger than I was at 21)

I never felt so propelled to walk my naked butt out of that office. 
At first I liked her because I have the same cardigan as she was wearing,
however, how dumb are you. 
I asked for a doctor who knows and is comfortable with Type 1's. 
They tell me they are the best here. 
I pretty much and too pissed off, upset, angry and irritated
to look her in the face. 

I'm still mad writing this over a month later. 
I am still puzzled as to how she passed medical school.

All I have to say, and any diabetic who is currently pregnant or wants to become a mommy, 
NEVER EVER, let someone make you feel so belittled
because you don't compare to the text book. 
I didn't speak up when I should have. 
I wish I would have stood up and complained. 
I wish the student would have said something. 
This is a serious disease that takes a heck of a lot of work, 
and time, and energy and money. 
Don't accept anyone that treats you differently. 
I think I am finding my voice, and hopefully
my baby will never have to meet that Dr. Uneducated 
when it is time. 

Shame on you Dr. Uneducated. 
Has this every happened to you? What did you do?

1 comment:

  1. Sweetheart! i would switch Dr.'s ASAP! You deserve to be very comfortable with your OB and anything less is unacceptable. About the food thing....I hardly ate my entire first trimester. Everything looked gross. We ate out a lot because making food just made me want to ralph. But literally the first say of my second trimester I felt great. I hope you have the same turn out. I had horrible morning sickness eery morning in the beginning.

    And now I have gestational diabetes, so I can understand to a point what you are going through but definitely not to your extent. I do have to check my blood sugars and will probably need to take insulin when I get closer and my body is unable to keep up with the baby.

    But you are doing great and it will all be worth every second to time and effort you put into it. and tell your DR to screw off! Hope this helps in anyway and I miss you!

    Kaitlin ;)